wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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