so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
