We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
