i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
