Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
