I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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