I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
