Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
