you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize