this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize