Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
