we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
