he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
