yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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