That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she pinky promised me she was 18
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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