he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She bit a glass in half.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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