Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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