Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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