so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
