do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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