North Korea, Best Korea!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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