Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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