What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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