Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
