My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
