Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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