ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
