I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
