My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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