I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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