Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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