my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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