You don't have asthma, your pregnant
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
