Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't deserve a penis
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
