Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
