How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
