we have officially lost it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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