why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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