then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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