yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if only i could text you this smell
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
