She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize