Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
