He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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