Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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