Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
