They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
