hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize