so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
