i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
