I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
A+ Viking dick
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