you guys were way drunker than both of me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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