it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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