He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
