I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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