I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Panties = found
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
