No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
