then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
