See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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