she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
